Senator Fehrenbox

No need to be a presidential candidate to do a fact check on those around you - just listen...

What percent of people's statements are false?

In speaking with a new found friend regarding a very important topic, I was concerned when the information brought to the table on their behalf was, in fact, not true. How long had this opinion been developing, mind scheming, frustrations building - over something inaccurate? So naturally, I quickly corrected the fallacy and start in on the lecture against letting other people determine your opinions. And in my moment of haste I was mercilessly humbled. How many tales have I told? How many truths did I stretch? How many 'close enoughs' did I share with others and cause them to walk away fancied by a fib?

Frank McCourt says it plainly - "you have to study and learn so that you can make up your own mind about history and everything else but you can’t make up an empty mind. Stock your mind. You might be poor, your shoes might be broken, but your mind is a palace."

Vote for Senator Fehrenbox - for a fallaciously free world.

Plodding Pandora

M-i-ss-i-ss-i-pp-i.
This great state we learned to spell so many years ago presents us today with a perplexing paradox:

#1 Lowest per capita income
#1 Highest charitable donations per capita

Why is it that the poorest people give the most?

In an attempt to sort out this contradiction, one suggested it is because they themselves experience the need for charity and therefore understand its necessity, resulting in their monetary support.
This spun a web of thoughts...

As middle class citizens if we do not eat three healthy meals a day, it is our own fault. We drive our cars to work, consume ourselves with topics of choice, watch our entertaining television shows, and sleep in our warm beds. In our daily lives we may not experience hunger, abuse, third trimester abortions, child trafficking, mental illness, loneliness... we may even ignore it.
To the homeless on the street we say,

"they should get a job, i worked hard for my money".

To the lives lost at abortion clinics we say,

"i would never do something like that".

To those who have no one to share Christmas with we say,

"I have two families to see and a turkey to cook, I can't possibly spare 30 minutes".

Perhaps our greatest fault is we are afraid to open Pandora's box. We are afraid to see what evils are in this world. Because if we don't see them, they may not exist. If they do exist, we may be responsible to do something about it - how can we truly live knowing that others suffer injustices.

If we were exposed to those same injustices, would we respond similarly as our fellow Mississippians?


...maybe Pandora was on to something

A Love/Hate Relationship

Winter.
For those who have justly experienced Madison, you will recognize the snow-smothered terrace tables overlooking lake Mendota.

For some this picture brings anxiety and fear. For others, relief; they do not have to de-ice the car, bundle the face, or chapstick the lips.

And yet for others in mind, it brings excitement and joy and a world of activities the summer just cannot offer. Such as kite flying on a frozen lake, snow shoeing, cross country skiing, chili cook-offs, ice fishing, tea in front of a fire...

I have found no middle ground. People either love the winter, or hate it.
Are you in a love or hate relationship?

Those who experience both extremes within the season are perhaps distracted at first. The beautiful first fallen snow, the 4WD adventures, the stimulation of a new season, the anticipation of holidays the snow brings with it. Does this love endure? Or do the countless car-thaws, ice falls, wind-chills below zero, and frozen gasoline tanks turn us quickly into the greenest grinch?

The Adult Child

There are a few difficult stages in life I am aware of and will try my hardest to prevent total self-destruction. Those times when you stop and say - Who Am I?

life post college, entering your vocation, empty nesting, retirement...

The latest growing pain is... the Adult Child. A delicate mix of desiring to make decisions on your own, yet battling the opinions and guidance of the people who have parented you for the past 20+ years. Unfortunately they do not have an 'off' switch.

The irony of it is, no matter how hard we try to break away, to develop our own thoughts, to make our own decisions, to pave our own paths, we are a product of our childhood. We are brainwashed, biased, and bonded to our parents.

While trimming (painting) the ceiling of a friend's house, my father sat on my shoulder, "Slow down! Haste makes waste, Kate..."

While considering the productivity of my day and whether the laundry should get done that afternoon, my mother whispered, "Maybe tomorrow..."

While embarking on a trip to the airport to pick up a friend after dark, my father made his way to my ears, "Buckle up, watch for deer!"

Although most consider insanity when voices enter their minds, there is comfort in knowing I am most likely not the only one - what do you hear?

525,600... decisions

Everyday we make an incalculable number of decisions, and we have become experts at it.

honey nut cheerios or regular?
blue shirt or gray?
shower or snooze button?

Every so often we find ourselves presented with a decision of great impact and our rhythmic decision making tactics are launched out the window and time stops.

peace corps or business school?
job A or job B?
mr(s). right or mr(s). almost right?

Although we are never really sure of the outcome of the path we did not choose, we are mostly relieved when we are content with the one we did choose.
How many decisions in our life, like the decisions above, are good vs. better? We often are forced to choose between two appealing paths, otherwise what effort would a decision take?

Where some may say, win/win - look at it again... why choose good when you could have better?

Better takes sacrifice, Better takes patience, Better takes you outside comforts. And perhaps that scares us into Good. It is important to analyze our decisions to ensure we are not settling for Good - and if not today, when?

And when time does start again, there is no day but today... or life is yours to miss.

102... And Counting

Elizabeth "Libby" Tresp - November 13, 1906

Swallow this:
Life Expectancy - 47 years

Wars/Battles - WWI, II, Cold War, Korean, Vietnam, Stalingrad, D-Day, Pearl Harbor, Cuban Missle Crisis, Iraq, Pakistan, Desert Storm

Threatening Diseases - Polio, Tuberculosis, Smallpox, Pneumonia, Influenza, HIV, Cancer, Heart Failure

People like - Adolf Hitler, Winston Churchill, Mohandas Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Picasso, Babe Ruth, Al Capone, Bonnie and Clyde, Amelia Earhart, Anne Frank, Henry Ford...

The Great Depression - Nuclear Weapons - Establishment of 5 US States - Communist China - Landing on the Moon - The Transistor (and all that is computers) - Internet - Plastic - Haley's Comet (twice) - Parachutes - Titanic - Crossword puzzles - Grocery Stores - Daylight Savings - Commercial Radio Broadcast - Women Gain Right to Vote - Prohibition - King Tut's Tomb - Talking Movies - Winnie the Pooh - Bubble Gum - Mickey Mouse - Sliced Bread (not a joke) - Dictionary - Pluto - Air Conditioning - Splitting an Atom - FDRs New Deal - Monopoly - The Hoover Dam - The Panama Canal - Manhattan Project - Mount Rushmore - T-shirt - Microwave - Hiroshima and Nagasaki - Flight around the World - Color TV - Disneyworld - Sputnik - McDonalds - Velcro - Berlin Wall - Olympic Games - Oklahoma City Bombing - Mt. Saint Helens - Y2K......

And she always tells me, "If we would all just take responsibility for ourselves, where would this world be? Yet we can't even do that..."

Is it so simple? Are you taking honest responsibility (integrity) for yourself?

Peter Pan

Don't ask for help you're all alone
Pressure
You'll have to answer to your own
Pressure
I'm sure you'll have some cosmic rationale...

-billy joel

Life is full of pressures. It amazes me how much stress our bodies can handle (let's not get into all the social, financial, and workplace pressure there is). What is most curious is we create unnecessary pressures on ourselves, and in turn isolate ourselves from others. Is Billy on to something here?

We perceive others' expectations of us and place them on ourselves. We judge ourselves according to those standards and avoid them before they can judge us. And you bet we come with creative excuses for why - or why not. It is exhausting to think about.

My worth is defined by my salary - Pressure.
I need to dress a certain way to portray an image - Pressure.
I am not living the way my parents want me to, therefore they are not proud of me - Pressure.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Returning to childhood was never appealing, but perhaps there are times we all wish to escape from the world in our minds and the pressures we create and be a lost boy again...

Lasik Living

One of my earlier memories...

I returned to my first grade classroom to find a small pink, teddy-bear printed case on my desk. My heart pounded with excitement, my cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Sealing my ownership to this object, my mother's handwriting in black sharpie fashioned - KATELIN F.

In addition to seeing half way across the state, these rosy colored glasses provided me with a vision of a world of wonder, imagination, and enchantment. It would be 17 years before the 6 year old would take off her rosy colored glasses and live in the Lasik world.

How long are we willing to wait before we choose to see clearly?
"The truth is not afraid of your questions, the question is - are you afraid of the truth?"

We spend our lives with these enormous glasses on - conforming truth to fit what we feel our needs and desires are. It is only fitting that with our changing needs, desires, experiences - our redefined truth changes as well. It is the vicious cycle of worsening vision and the need for thicker lenses, making it even more difficult to see/accept the actual truth.
When will we gain the courage and choose to free ourselves of these glasses, sharpen our vision by conforming our life to the truth, literally change the shape of your cornea and you will see better than you have ever seen before.

There is nothing like 20/15 vision.

Déjà Vu?

A smell, a familiar feeling, another lifetime - or are we just moving in circles?

Hollywood - celebrities of today look to yesterday to find what is glamorous, chic, classy, and stunning. The wheel of fashion has always spun round despite any desperate attempt to keep particular items from resurfacing. A few months ago it would have been going too far to predict The New Kids on the Block would regroup... but that wheel never fails to surprise.


Mr. Postman - The friendly postman's greatest fear was always the vicious dog. Or now, is it the raising gas prices? Is it interesting to see more postmen parking their post-mobiles and walking from house to house, or is that a familiar Leave It To Beaver rerun?


Glass bottles - I enjoy my father's stories of growing up with eight children in the house and every week having the milkman deliver milk on their back step in glass bottles. Is it so far from his reality that I have replaced the plastic gallon of milk in my own fridge with the trendy and oh-so-healthier glass jar?


I can't help but think the more we find out about the world (and perhaps ourselves), the more we look for resolution in the way things used to be. What else should we expect to come full (or even half/partial) circle?

Please Pass the Salt!

Food is delicious.
Without it we would be... well, malnourished and hungry.
When planning meals, we begin with the main dish - chicken or steak? veggies or fish? Couple that with a side dish - arugula or asparagus? salad or potatoes? A delicious beverage - water or milk? red or white?

Do we plan the meal will need salt, or is it a result of a disaster? Are you one of those who salts everything before even tasting? (do me a favor and check your blood pressure...)

Salt is the ultimate seasoning and preservative! Veggies too bland? *shake *shake - BAM! Deliciousness. So this magic shaker got me thinking...

How often are we planning the main dish; looking for the next big thing in our lives? Do we take the time to enjoy the salty moments, the smallest yet tastiest daily interactions that make us sigh in delight? ...What is the salt of our lives?

to share a few of my more saltier moments:
quotes on tea bags, fall colors, the clipping sound my shoes make on my bike, a whistling tea kettle, a full tank of gas..



Sigh! Who knew there could be so many joy filled moments? When i stopped to taste the salt, I realized how plentiful it is. All these salty splendors made for quite a week!

So from now on, I say... Please Pass the Salt!

Epiphany (God Bless You!)

Like sneezes, epiphanies seem to sneak up and hit me. Sometimes they are enjoyable, sometimes a bit messy! Ultimately, we need to have the same reaction to epiphanies as we do sneezes - and if you are one of those people who sneezes seven times in a row, God bless you!

Epiphany #1 - My parents are not perfect?!
Hard to believe, I know. Are they not stunning?
They raised my siblings and me with positive self-esteem, confidence, morals, plenty of Lucky Charms, and Spaghetti O's. The oh-so-typical American family I would not trade for the world.
It was not until I began to think for myself that I realized I would handle situations differently than they did. In the moment of realizing my parents are people - with struggles, biases, stubbornness, bad hair days, and stains on their clothes - I found friends. My parents went from perfect parents, to imperfect treasures. They are a wealth of wisdom, strength, support, and love. It is not a negative realization, rather an amazing opportunity to learn more about each as individuals and learn to love them in new, more real ways. - God bless you.


Epiphany #2 - There are immature adults?!
The difficult member during group projects...
The judgmental high school girls...
The kid who always asked what grade you got on the test...
The cheaters...

Yup! In the workplace, through mutual friends, or at the grocery store, these groundhogs pop in and out of your life. I was amazed to discover after leaving college that I did not leave these stereotypical personalities behind. Upon receiving a diploma, did we not also receive common sense? A bit more wisdom? Some compassion? Self-motivation?
Nope! Instead we are given the great opportunity to perfect ourselves in the way we deal with these characters. To all those people who provide me with this opportunity - God bless you.

Epiphany #3 - Work to Live or Live to Work?!
At a hotel room in Orlando, Florida I was notified my mother's cancer was inoperable and not curable. I had another day and an entire flight home to determine whether my 60+ hr/wk job and weekly travel was worth the sacrifices I had made in my life:
- My family relationships
- My spirituality
- My friendships
- Community Involvement
- Travel
My perspective changed from desiring the satisfaction of a prominent and successful career to desiring a well-rounded, enriched life. Success could no longer be defined by salary - how often do we try to force the triangle to fit inside the square before giving in? Success is my level of happiness - I work to live and for those who do the same - God bless you.

What epiphanies do we receive throughout life?
I started with three, although there are many more. You may have learned the same lesson at an older or younger age. You may have yet to learn the above. What are your favorite epiphanies?

How do they change our perspectives, and lifestyles?
I am happy to say each epiphany has increased my understanding of the world. Some may say I lead a sheltered life but I believe, regardless of the great American childhood, you are bound to open your eyes - is it not interesting that we close our eyes even tighter right before we sneeze?

He Loves Me... if?

During a walk, I picked up a beautiful fall flower and, to rekindle pastimes, I picked the first petal... He Loves Me! With the second petal, I could not help but wonder... He Loves Me Not?! Thus began a frenzy of thought - what would it take for me to lose someone's love? Better yet, what conditions do I place on other people - He Loves Me... if?



Wiki-nition - Unconditional Love: to love someone regardless of his or her actions or beliefs.

action: something done or performed; an act that is consciously willed (mental or physical); effect or influence

belief: an opinion or conviction; confidence in truth or existence of something not immediately susceptible to rigorous proof

There are many relationships in our lives - siblings, parents, friends, spouses, boy/girlfriends, teachers, students, coworkers, bosses, coaches, teammates, therapists, religious leaders, strangers...

Do all of these relationships deserve unconditional love - do any?
At first glace we immediately jump to the spouse as a relationship deserving of unconditional love. However there are actions some of us may justify as grounds for ending that relationship - are we really loving unconditionally... At what point in relationships do we turn the switch from conditional to unconditional?

What conditions do we place on love (any relationship)?
Loves Me... if I love back
Loves Me Not... if I do not share political views
Loves Me... if I call to keep in touch monthly
Loves Me Not... if I hang out with their enemies

All Dogs go to Heaven?

You may think I am keeping it light, but I have found people are passionate about their pets..

Are pets capable of loving?
Many people love their pets, but do pets love in return? They are beings capable of great obedience and affection - in some ways we as humans could take some lessons! However, what would differentiate humans from other beings if not - love? If we are the only species capable of exchanging love, are we kidding ourselves with pets, or do we understand they are a means of affection and therefore are fulfilling in our lives?

Do all dogs go to heaven?
Will we see our pets in heaven and live with them eternally? Many people feel their pets are a member of the family - some pets lasting over a decade. If they have such a great stake in our family memories, perhaps a place at the dinner table (or under the dinner table), do they have a place by our side in heaven, too?

Thinking outside the box...

We are defined, biased beings; whether it be traditions, religions, political affiliations, or regional cultures. We hold opinions in everything important to us - and what is important differs as much as our opinions.

I am continually impressed and amazed by how we choose to think - yes, it is definitely a choice. Are you open to understanding where others have come from, or do you pass judgment too quickly?

Welcome to the box of ideas, opinions, and understanding. No question is meant to offend, merely provide new, respectful perspectives. It's - The Fehrenbox.