Don't ask for help you're all alone
Pressure
You'll have to answer to your own
Pressure
I'm sure you'll have some cosmic rationale...
Pressure
You'll have to answer to your own
Pressure
I'm sure you'll have some cosmic rationale...
-billy joel
Life is full of pressures. It amazes me how much stress our bodies can handle (let's not get into all the social, financial, and workplace pressure there is). What is most curious is we create unnecessary pressures on ourselves, and in turn isolate ourselves from others. Is Billy on to something here?
We perceive others' expectations of us and place them on ourselves. We judge ourselves according to those standards and avoid them before they can judge us. And you bet we come with creative excuses for why - or why not. It is exhausting to think about.
My worth is defined by my salary - Pressure.
I need to dress a certain way to portray an image - Pressure.
I am not living the way my parents want me to, therefore they are not proud of me - Pressure.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Returning to childhood was never appealing, but perhaps there are times we all wish to escape from the world in our minds and the pressures we create and be a lost boy again...
We perceive others' expectations of us and place them on ourselves. We judge ourselves according to those standards and avoid them before they can judge us. And you bet we come with creative excuses for why - or why not. It is exhausting to think about.
My worth is defined by my salary - Pressure.
I need to dress a certain way to portray an image - Pressure.
I am not living the way my parents want me to, therefore they are not proud of me - Pressure.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Returning to childhood was never appealing, but perhaps there are times we all wish to escape from the world in our minds and the pressures we create and be a lost boy again...
3 comments:
Kudos to you and your Billy verse! You see, this is one of the many reasons why we're friends.
My thoughts on why we stress ourselves out:
I think you hit the nail on the head with "expectations". The ever outdated ways of thinking like, "The man has to be the breadwinner." or "I have to be married before 30!" or "I have to get a 4.0!" are often what causes these life stressors, mid-life crises, divorces, you name it. We have to change our perceptions of ourselves, and stop trying to live up to the expectations of society, parents, etc.
We also need to stop taking on more than we can chew. We overwhelm ourselves. And on top of that, we often don't take care of our bodies, by not exercising, eating unhealthy, not setting time aside to relax and sleep, and by not communicating with ourselves and each other.
A (long) side note: Psychology books will tell you that most often it's "daily life stressors" that push people over the edge, versus major life crises. Why? Because they build. A one-time event, you can deal with, or move on from. But these life pressures, expectations, the little annoying stressors stack up, and if not dealt with properly, can lead to a number of serious issues and events.
We need to be introspective and take responsability for ourselves. When we can't, we need to seek help, often times from others who have an unbiased, objective view, like a counselor. We try to take on so many things, and we get overwhelmed. It is imperative to have the support of good friends and family, and to take care of ourselves by getting enough GOOD sleep, eating well, talking about our issues, not letting things build up, praying and meditating, and practicing other means of self care. Life is too short to waste it being too busy.
It is amazing what pressure keeps us from doing. Are you going to go ahead and take classes if you can't reach a 4.0 - YES - I guarantee you WILL learn SOMETHING without the 4.0. Although it took me a long time to believe that thought. Now, I'm enjoying every minute of my class.
Talking to my friend today, we decided that an authentic person is so much better than a society ridden person. Being authentic is so relaxing. There are people for everything - if you are not one to look like a supermodel or be a genius. That is ok because there is someone out there that is. So do what you DO best and LIKE best and be at ease.
I don't mean be a slacker, just be the best YOU you can be (quoting Matthew Kelly) - not the best you someone else wants you to be. Little hint - you can't make everyone happy so why not make yourself happy (at least one person is smiling:o)
We put the pressure on ourselves to live up to a certain "societal" standard, all the while society is one-upping, and out-doing each other. The societal bar that we try measuring ourself against keeps moving upward, always making us feel inferior and defeated. Yet instead of recognizing and removing ourselves from this defeating cycle, we can get swept up into it.
It's so easy to get caught up in "comparison living." Even Jesus disciples' got caught in this trap. In Luke 9:46, the disciples are arguing (in front of Jesus!) about which disciple is the greatest. Jesus responds saying that the one who is the least is the greatest! I'm sure that's not the response the disciples were anticipating! Look at the example of Jesus...giving up everything to be one of us and live among us. How's that for "comparison living?"
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